"Close your eyes and make believe....

This is where you want to be
Forgetting all the memories
Try to forget about L♥ ve cause L♥ ve’s forgotten me”
-P! More

It always seems like when the leaves slowly falls in autumn it’s just a casual reminder of how much I’ve been forgotten. Although seasons may come and go they tend to linger within our minds, and within our skin; wrapping the beauty of its nature around us. Our body unknowingly speaks back to each season. We allow Summer to comfort us, to keep us warm in her tender arms. We allow Spring to cry on our shoulders, washing away her impurities but embracing us with an inner peace. We allow Autumn to grace us with her presence. She uncoils around us and we take in her beauty. Then there’s Winter; her snow white glow, so elegant. She runs her fingers through our hair allowing the threads to dance with the breezes she provides. Seasons always leaves an everlasting presence before they depart. We tend to cling onto a particular season. Clinging onto its memories; missing it, longing it, and waiting for it to come again.
Sometimes I wish I could be remembered as a season. I wish that I had the comfort of Summer, the inner peace through sorrows of Spring, the beauty of Autumn, and the elegance of Winter. Although there are times when I might disappear, I still wish that I would be remembered, I wish that I would be longed for, I wish that someone would patiently wait for me to come back around again.
There’s that part of me depending on hope and relying on my faith to take me through the course of unveiling Love trying to uncover her layers. Maybe Love is just like happiness, maybe it’ll come home when it’s good and ready too.
I’m not searching for Love; I’m finding the meaning within it.
I want to know if Love has passed me by
I want to know how far along the road love is
I want to know what Love truly feels like, but not as a half….
As a whole.

Copyright

Brewster, Nefeteria 2009

Dispension Through Ascension

“What I fear and what I've tried,
Words I say and what I hide
All the pain, I want it to end
But I want it again

And it finds me
The fight inside is coursing through my veins
And it's raging
The fight inside is breaking me again”
-Red


You can find me here waiting; my corpse rots my soul fading
Left with nothing but to uncover the risks I’ve taken, guess my heart was just mistaken
As time is raped from its minutes watching this lifeless body on the floor
For so long it has been hidden behind the bolts of this stoned door
Locked behind dreams of eternity, reassuring the lies beneath lustful fantasies
Hoping memories resides in its stained glass, only if I could let go of what I had in the past
Yet through my pain and through my tears, through the wasteland of my despairs
I long for the pain, the scars across my heart, I long for the reason it’s left broken, and falling apart
With arms outstretched, and fingers pointing towards the stars, my wondering soul continues the journey for the antidote in a realm beneath the blackened tar
You can find me here waiting; my corpse rots my soul fading
My body shaking from the constant whispers of the demise trying to uncover the hymnals of the skies
As time is raped from its minutes my body rests upon the floor
Hiding behind the bolts and chains bestowed upon stoned doors
Into a realm of fantasies where deceitful lies becomes truth, I give into the lust of memories depriving my heart from all its youth
Stretching these memories that resides in its stained glass, imprinting the parts of you that I want a could have had
And through my pain and through my tears, through the wasteland of my despairs
My soul seeks out to meet you here, my corpse still grieving for your care
Longing for the pain, the scars across my heart, I long for the reason it’s left broken, and falling apart
Only your love, through the blood that flows through your veins can mend me back together, lying in your arms would make dying so much better
And through death you’ll compensate the keys to unlock where this story ends
Cause my words may mean nothing but deep inside you is where I hide everything

Brewster, Nefeteria
Copyright 2009

Admiration of a Lost Love

We build then we break as apathy as our mistake
Watching as leaves pile, building upon trials
I wash them all away with my subtle tears
Hoping I can wash away the tribulations in these past years

I stare at this beauty, the nature of God’s creation
From the highest peak that touches the sky to the wide and sturdy foundation
Wishing for it to embedded in me, wrap me in its vines and listen to my most desperate cries
Stay with me in the fall, uncovering the techno gleaming of my eyes
Allow me to blend into the elaborate structure of its stems
Hoping that if I hold onto this feeling it can carry me until the end

From the branches and the vine, up unto the stars; to the holy divine
I lust for a feeling, perhaps, rather a spiritual meaning
That pushes me to follow the constant drumming of my heart beating
Finding a solution other than what the world might protest
Leaving such a beauty, No! my heart contests
Forbid the world to eat at the carcass, the remaining of your flesh

“May we all turn into the leaves that crack and break apart, And I’m anxious to relieve my mind from desperate thoughts. I hope you’ll remember me always…”

Brewster, Nefeteria
Copyright 2009

Documents of a Passing Patient

There isn’t another line, not a letter, or a poem
The footprints along these boundaries are the ones that lead me home
Back into the tar pit womb inside the scars of constant wounds
Though far beyond the surface of skin I draw no blood but the tears built up inside of me over flood
Drowning my organs, drowning my heart, washing away the redbrick color; this is how I fall apart

There isn’t another line, not a letter, or a poem
The footprints along these boundaries are the ones that lead me home
The writings on the walls reflect a reflection so vivid, as others may portray it as a beauteous image
Look deep within what may seem like a meaning and read its book unraveling the truth behind this hook
Leaving the foundation weak, as in the foundations of my heart; this is how, this is how, and this is how I fall apart

There isn’t another line, not a letter, or a poem
This is a documentation that I’ll deposited on the day that I’m finally home
Back into the tar pit wombs lays my life formed so meek; inside me is a hidden quote that this document may seek
“For once don’t be so weak, I see the mistake that is you, don’t try another line, I know the truth”
You never really loved me and here lies the proof

Leaving me behind with a fragile and broken heart, this is how, this is how, and this is how you left me to fall apart

Brewster, Nefeteria
Copyright 2009

Three (III) Days Grace "Break" <3

Tonight my head is spinning
I need something to pick me up
I've tried but nothing is working
I won't stop, I won't say I've had enough

Tonight I start the fire
Tonight I break away

Break! Away from everybody
Break! Away from everything
If you can't stand the way this place is
Take! Yourself! To higher places!

At night I feel like a vampire
It's not right but I just can't give it up
I'll try to get myself higher
Let's go! We're gonna light it up

Tonight we start the fire
Tonight we break away


Break! Away from everybody
Break! Away from everything
If you can't stand the way this place is
Take! Yourself! To higher places!


If you can't stand the way this place is
Take! Yourself! To higher places!
Break! Away from everybody
Break! Away from everything
If you can't stand the way this place is
Take! Yourself! To higher places!
Higher places!
To higher places!
Higher places!
Take yourself to higher places!

Random Thoughts For Songs A Bit Bitter

Reveal my bare skin to the world. Let them see my true reflection. So they can uncover this torture, this pain, this feeling that I’ve been neglecting. I rest my hands only for a little while, just to let the tension inside build, and now my mind is bursting like a chaotic oil spill. Not only because of you, my love, my glass shaped heart has hit the ground. On concrete pavement it lies there shattered as everyone stands around. Don’t touch her!! Don’t try to fix her!! Leave her shattered on the floor. Walk past her, snare at her, watch as she rots upon the floor. Let her rest, and close her eyes, here lies the broken heart of the corpse bride. Drain her blood, for what’s its worth.
She puts upon you a silent curse. Inform a lawyer; an angelic nurse?
Bury her deep within the ground, with a thorn made crown
So let me ask you my love, are you happy now?
Does a supercilious smile spread across your face for it’s her body that you’ve found?
Reveal my bare skin to the world. Let them see my true reflection.
Imprinted on her grave stone, carved with the hands of deception
Humanity! Oh Sovereignty! Bless this broken child
The monstrosities of nature spread your wings and make her fly; the words of the wicked flesh will have to cry
Take her soul up unto the stars, where she’ll rest within her maker
She’ll open her eyes, her soul replies, “curse them, my creator”
Reveal my bare skin to the world. Let them see my true reflection.
This world filled with remedies of cynical “misconceptions”

Copyright 2009
Brewster, Nefeteria

♥♫Juturna♫♫ <---> Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind♥

♥♫"Can we last through the winter
The water's starting to freeze
The only one who remembers
Taking the wrong step falling in front of me
This body's already aging
These nights are already long
And if I last through the winter I swear to you now, I wont call

Congratulations, go home now

Will we last through the winter
Will we make it to see
I never wanted a partner
And I never loved you
Now you are free to leave
This heart is already frozen
I can't remember the fall
And if I last through the winter
I swear to you now, I won't call

Congratulations, go home now

It's too late it's too late
They won't let go
Follow five foot steps through that open door, open door
It's too late it's too late
They won't let go
Follow five foot steps through that open door, open door

It must be buried under the heart
That makes this pace consistant
You'll find it torn, that's gates been open
And I've been wondering, if you'd been real with us

It's too late...

It's too late it's too late
They won't let go
Follow five foot steps through that open door, open door
It's too late it's too late
They won't let go
Follow five foot steps through that open door, open door

Its that start stop and go
You've been dying for, you've been dying for"♫♥
♫*In Fear and Faith --> Circa Survive*♫♫♫

♥Favorite Quotes♥
Joel: Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.

Clementine: This is it, Joel. It's going to be gone soon.
Joel: I know.
Clementine: What do we do?
Joel: Enjoy it.

Joel: [in the house on the beach] I really should go! I've gotta catch my ride.
Clementine: So go.
Joel: I did. I thought maybe you were a nut... but you were exciting.
Clementine: I wish you had stayed.
Joel: I wish I had stayed to. NOW I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I had... I wish I had stayed. I do.
Clementine: Well I came back downstairs and you were gone!
Joel: I walked out, I walked out the door!
Clementine: Why?
Joel: I don't know. I felt like I was a scared little kid, I was like... it was above my head, I don't know.
Clementine: You were scared?
Joel: Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation.
Clementine: Was it something I said?
Joel: Yeah, you said "so go." With such disdain, you know?
Clementine: Oh, I'm sorry.
Joel: It's okay.
[Walking Out]
Clementine: Joely? What if you stayed this time?
Joel: I walked out the door. There's no memory left.
Clementine: Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let's pretend we had one.
[Joel comes back]
Clementine: Bye Joel.
Joel: I love you...
Clementine: Meet me... in Montauk...


Joel: Hi.
Clementine: Hi. Didn't figure you'd show your face around me again. I guess I thought you were... humiliated. You did run away, after all.
Joel: I just needed to see you.
Clementine: Yeah?
Joel: I'd like to, um... take you out, or something.
Clementine: You're married.
Joel: Not yet, not married. No, I'm not married.
Clementine: Look man, I'm telling you right off the bat, I'm high-maintainance, so... I'm not gonna tip-toe around your marriage, or whatever it is you've got goin' there. If you wanna be with me, you're with me.
Joel: Okay.
Clementine: Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a ****-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.
Joel: I remember that speech really well.
Clementine: I had you pegged, didn't I?
Joel: You had the whole human race pegged.
Clementine: Hmm. Probably.
Joel: I still thought you were gonna save my life... even after that.
Clementine: Ohhh... I know.
Joel: It would be different, if we could just give it another go-round.
Clementine: Remember me. Try your best; maybe we can.

Clementine: You're not a stalker, or anything, right?
Joel: I'm not a stalker. YOU'RE the one that talked to me, remember?
Clementine: That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.
Joel: Really? There's a stalker book? Great, I gotta read that one.


Clementine: Joely?
Joel: Yeah Tangerine?
Clementine: Am I ugly?
Joel: Uh-uh.
Clementine: When I was a kid, I thought I was. I can't believe I'm crying already. Sometimes I think people don't understand how lonely it is to be a kid, like you don't matter. So, I'm eight, and I have these toys, these dolls. My favorite is this ugly girl doll who I call Clementine, and I keep yelling at her, "You can't be ugly! Be pretty!" It's weird, like if I can transform her, I would magically change, too.
Joel: [kisses Clementine] You're pretty.
Clementine: Joely, don't ever leave me.




Joel: I don't see anything I don't like about you.
Clementine: But you will! But you will, and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped, because that's what happens with me.
Joel: Okay.