♥ Silence ♥

“And if she runs away she fears she won't be followed

What could be the worse than leaving something behind

And as the depth of oceans slowly become shallow

It's loneliness she finds...

If only he was mine”
- Vanessa Carlton (Rinse)

And as the silence settles in
Searching for what might have become of him
Telling me the meanings behind this logic truth
Holding onto inscriptions of memories as proof
Silence is his melody

These whispers of silence bestows inside
It’s hidden behind his lips but he won’t testify
Not even for Love he’d ratify
What is it within him that he must hide?
Silence is his melody

Although my heart can’t take another beat
And I lay these calculations at his feet
It’s never enough for his reply
I could lay here and slowly die
Yet silence would be his melody

Life is too short and still I wait
Can’t live in past times nor ancient mistakes
Yet still I write and cling to fate
Silence is his melody

Some may say its ignorance
And to seek for better within the depths of the seas
But I refuse and reside in my subtitles

Gradually losing hope in this realm of love mentally
Listening to the silence of his melody

Copyright 2009
Brewster, Nefeteria

♥ Hmm..On the Elevator to Cloud Nine... ♥

.....I enjoy this particular space in my mind. ♥ :)

Another rainy day. I always find these moments to leave out memories I've tried not to display, however there aren't any more words I can use to say within how much love still remains. ♥

♥ Listen To the Rain ♥

As I am typing I hear a light knock at my window, I glance to see who or what the noise may be…the soft knocks of rain.

Something is different about the rain today. As the morning began the sky light up in this unique shade of pink and through the trees and over the peak refracting off of each building on campus was the sun. It was like the weather had manipulated my emotions, all was subtle inside.

By noon the sun had faded away and the wind was blowing rapidly. I embraced it as it blew through my hair, and played with the end of my skirt. I was enjoying this mysterious breeze; however, my walk came to an end as I approached the doors to the building.

By evening the clouds began to settle, and as I took a deep breath I could smell the likeliness of showers. It was still warm outside and the weather, at least to me, was still relaxing.

It’s 4:42pm and the rain is tapping at my window. As I sat and listened to its beating I began to reminiscence on my week. As I reflected I realized how similar to the weather my week had been. I was subtle at the beginning of the week, however by the middle of the week things began to get cloudy, and now rain is falling rapidly, but I find comfort within the rain.

The rain is a symbolization of God. He is lightly tapping at my window; through this he has gained my undivided attention. In this rain I find my comfort, in this rain I find my peace, in this rain I am able to whisper to my sovereign, and I am able to take heed to the words that he speaks. In this rain is where I’ve laid my burdens, and fill my heart with things so meek. In this rain I wash away the flesh, I lay them at his feet.

I’m feeling so new inside, God has lifted a major strain that has been hiding inside of me, weighing so heavy on my mind. Everything that I’ve been seeking has revealed itself, and I no longer have to find.
I’ve made so many sacrifices, putting aside time, family, finances, and even getting myself into danger, and yet it was perceived as if I was working for the blind; but God has plucked them out and replaced them with the light in which he shines.

As the rain falls I can only smile, words can’t explain his mysterious miracles, hand in hand I’ll abode within him, he is my lover, my best friend, my guardian angel.

God continue to grant in me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. ♥ Neph

♥Suxicide Lullabye♥

“…and though I may have lost my way all paths lead straight to you
I long to be like you, lie cold in the ground like you
There’s room inside for two and I’m not grieving for you
I’m coming for you…”
- Like You [Evanescence]

I try to run from these silent dreams but they slowly grow inside, leading me to insignificant paths, these paths of suicide
Is there no other way to reach you, to behold your supernatural grasp?
Do I have to close these open doors tonight, and mark today as my last?

Making my bed inside a tomb, never to open my eyes to the world
Sealing the sacks in this cocoon; cursing the realms of my mother’s womb
I’m drawing closer to you

Here we will lie humming this “suxicide lullabye”
Feeling the impulse of death coursing through our veins
Becoming one within our thoughts
Becoming one within our pains

These tears will dry for I will not cry when I finally see your face
For the world is drowning and I am surrounding myself with your divine grace

Soaring back through these open doors I find myself awaken once again
Although I thank you for the breath of life given each passing day
My soul somehow hopes that someday it’ll end

Copyright 2009
Brewster, Nefeteria

♥"Blame It On Me, Set Your Guilt Free...♥

...I don't want to hold you back now love

I can't change who I am
not this time I won't lie to keep you near me
and in this short life, there's no time to waste on giving up
my love wasn't enough"





and you can blame it on me
just set your guilt free, honey
I don't want to hold you back now l♥ve
Amen :)